


Anecdotes

by Doombringer (d00m)



Series: Black and Blue (and a little Red too) [6]
Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Genre: Angst, Crack, Drabble Anthology, Humor, M/M, domsestic, ongoing drabble series, practice writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-01
Updated: 2013-10-05
Packaged: 2017-12-24 19:27:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/943762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d00m/pseuds/Doombringer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It worried Blake sometimes on how sickeningly domestic their relationship had become, it was as if Bane was never a mass-murdering (yet repentant, thank God) terrorist and he himself was never a rookie cop who turned vigilante.  </p><p>A series of anecdotes about Bane and Blake’s adventures in the Black and Blue verse, form sexy, to angsty, to pitifully humorous. </p><p>The Semi ongoing sequel to Misunderstandings</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Games

**Author's Note:**

> This series is basically a drabble dumps for the Black and Blue verse featuring ideas which I didn't think were full-length fic worthy 
> 
> It's rated Explicit for later chapters in which I'll use to practice writing porn. 
> 
> But first, a humor piece!

Blake wasn’t much of a gamer. When he was eleven someone had donated a Nintendo 64 with a box of games to St. Swithin’s except that Father Reilly threw out half of the games because of “inappropriate content”.

Sadly, this happened after Blake and his friends were halfway through _Conker’s Bad Fur Day_ ;  the damage had already been done. It took several mouth washings (with soap, of course) and removing all other privileges to get them to stop singing about “The Great Mighty Poo”.

So, when Blake was out for a walk one evening and noticed the Wii system for sale for ten dollars in the window of a Pawn shop, (along with a plethora of games) that small little shit still left in him couldn’t help but take the deal.

While he rode the elevator up to his apartment he already knew Bane was there. He could just sense it for some odd reason. He didn’t know how Bane would react to his random splurge. When he’d found furnishings his apartment he’d neglected to purchase a television. Blake was not surprised at this since Bane only ever watched TV for the news, which he could get just as easily through the internet or newspapers.

In fact, Bane was rather irritated when he arrived for a late-night fuck, to see Blake with a new TV, sprawled on the couch in his underwear and watching late-night reruns of Star Trek (his Nightwing gig often fucked with his sleep schedule; not his fault). He’d rutted Blake so hard into the couch cushions he was walking funny for a couple days.

His assumption was proven correct as he unlocked the door to his apartment, and saw Bane’s boots and leather jacket placed neatly inside the closet in the foyer.

Bane had a thing about no shoes in private living areas; Blake assumed it was just cultural differences since he’d been trained by ninjas and all. Plus, it helped keep the floor clean.

Blake shed his jacket and shoes before picking up the box and heading off into the living room where Bane sat on the couch with a book in his lap, one leg crossed over the other as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

It worried Blake sometimes on how sickeningly domestic their relationship had become, it was as if Bane was never a mass-murdering (yet repentant, thank God) terrorist and he himself was never a rookie cop who turned vigilante.  

“Hey.” He said.

“Hello.” Bane replied, still absorbed in his book. Blake used to be pissed off when that happened, but realised that sometimes Bane just got too into what he was reading, it was just how he was. “Wanna see what I got?”

Bane’s brow furrowed as he looked up from his novel at Blake, who was crossing over to set the box down by the TV so he could set up the game system.

“What is that?” Bane asked.

“Something cool.” Blake replied.

“You wasted your money again.” he sounded resigned.

“Nope.”

Bane cocked an eyebrow when he saw Blake pull out the different parts out of the box.

“That’s a toy. For children.”

“They make games for adults too.”

Bane scoffed.

“How much money did you waste on that?”

“Ten bucks.”

Bane shook his head in irritation.

“Ten American dollars which could have been used to buy more useful things, like food, or new underthings, which you do desperately need more than some flashing lights.”

Blake wanted to politely explain the reason why he only had three good pairs of underwear left was because Bane had a habit of ripping them off of his body, but he let that one slide (he liked it when Bane did that anyway) He was getting paid next week anyway.

It didn’t take long to set up the system properly, soon. Blake was happily swinging about the Wiimote to the tutorial game which came with the set while Bane continued to read. Occasionally, the man would look up with what Blake hoped was mild interest, but the moment Bane realised that Blake noticed his eyes would shoot away as if he was embarrassed. Blake snickered when he caught Bane watching with what he hoped was mild fascination as he managed to point and click with the Wii cursor.

* * *

 

“You want to play _Wii Resort?_ ”

“No.”

“How about _Mario Party?_ ”

_“No.”_

“You wanna fuck?”

"I dislike repeating myself Robi- _oh--_ of course."

* * *

 

An hour later, Blake lay sprawled on his side on the bed with Bane ruffling through his hair affectionately as he rumbled in contentment.

“This is so much superior to that plastic box.” He murmured.

“ _Hmmm_... maybe. But you’re not always here but the box is.” Blake replied, his voice hazy as he started to drift off into a nap, he needed it before he went out that night. His alarm was set for the evening and if he slept through that he was sure Bane would remind him of his “nightly duties”

His eyes grew heavy as be blinked slowly, his brain moving into hibernation mode as Bane lay flush behind him, with the mouthpiece of his pask pressed into the back of his head in a mockery of a nuzzle. 

* * *

 

 

Blake was rarely startled awake anymore.

He’d grown used to Bane and is wacky libido pouncing on him at random times during the early morning, (or whenever, Bane still got pretty horny sometimes-- which was weird Robin pegged him to be at least twice his age which would make him forty-something) and besides that he was a pretty heavy sleeper naturally, and he didn’t have to worry about the occasional bat visiting him in the dark.

So, when he was jolted awake by a loud crash from the living room he practically shit himself and screamed all at once as he flew out of bed doing a kung fu formation which could intimidate the likes of Chuck Norris and pretty much anyone with half a brain. The first thing he noticed was that Bane was not in bed with him, he’d must have gone home after having a pleasant fuck and cuddle. Blake wasn’t offended, that was normal for them.

So either there were burglars in his apartment, or it was fucking haunted. John decided on the latter. He fumbled around in the dark for the baseball bat he kept underneath his bed, and yelped when he bumped his head on the corner of the frame on his way up.

_You’re Nightwing goddammit, this is pathetic._

_Fuckfuckfuckfuck_

He slipped out into the hallway and crept towards the living room, noticing right away that there were no lights on save for the blue-white glow of the television.

He turned the corner, his bat raised to strike when he noticed the television screen.

_Connection to the Wii Remote has been interrupted._

His eyes slowly flickered to a lone figure standing in the room.

Bane.

He looked just about as guilty as that dog on youtube who was repentant for eating his owner’s cat-treats, except John noticed a hint of bewilderment in his grey eyes as he stared back at Blake once he realised he was there.  

Blake flicked on the light to the living room.

“Bane? What the _fuck_ are you-”

Then he saw it.

The Wii Remote, which Blake happily referred to the Wiimote because he was weird, was stuck halfway into the far wall and had taken down one of the lamps with it in it’s surprize launch. The wrist strap (which had gone unused apparently) swung back and forth feebly, still moving from the initial momentum from where it slipped from Bane’s hand.

It took Blake less than a second to play the scene in his head before his shoulders shuddered in an attempt to hold back the rush of giggles that eventually burst from his mouth but it was no use. He dropped the bat and burst out in a fit of laughter that would make the Joker look like Commander Spock.

Bane continued to stare in bewildered guilty pup mode, before righting himself into former Leader of Terrorists mode as he crossed his arms briefly, shuffling his feet then striding over to pluck the Wiimote out of the wall. The battery cover fell onto the floor with a light clatter, as well as the casing to the A button.

“I was curious.” He stated, trying to hide the embarrassment in his voice.

Blake shook his head, seating himself on the couch as he got his laughter under control.

“Fuck Bane... you scared the shit out of me. If you wanted to play I could have shown you.”

“I didn’t think I would need your help- I will replace the lamp and remote-- repair the damage to your wall...”

Blake shook his head again and motioned for Bane to sit next to him on the couch. The man shyly obliged him.

“It’s alright Big guy, no big deal there are three more-”

He paused when another fit of giggles hit him. Bane fidgeted with his hands, still obviously embarrassed.

“You wanna play _Brawl?_ ” He finally asked.

* * *

“This is _asinine_ , the fighting formations are ridiculous and false, in real life half of these... _people_ would be dead in minutes.” Bane snapped, as Solid Snake attempted to kick upwards at Ike, who dodged out of the way and swiped Snake with his sword, then threw a poke'ball which released a very angry staryu who started using swift against him. 

Blake had chosen _Brawl_ specifically because it didn’t involve much waving on the controllers, and he had made damn sure Bane was wearing the wrist strap like he was supposed to.

“ It's a _game_ Bane-I thought you were curious.” Blake replied, smug since he was beating Bane six KOs to zero, even with Bane having all of the handicaps available and John going easy on him.

“I was but now I know this is  truly a waste of time.”

Blake rolled his eyes, and with a press of a button Ike sent Snake flying off screen. He swore he heard Bane snarl in frustration beneath the hiss of the mask.

* * *

Three weeks later John came home from a night of kicking ass and taking names to find Bane sitting cross legged on the floor, grinding through the Twilight Realm as Wolf Link, with Midna on his back. He smirked lightly and plopped down on the couch to watch as Bane died six times in ten minutes before giving up and dragging him into the bedroom for what John assumed, was an attempt to release his pent up frustration. 

"I will conquer that machine Robin." Bane rumbled afterwards. 

"Are you pissy that a toy for children is getting the best of you?"

Bane didn't reply, but the frustrated sigh he heard, even in the afterglow of their fucking was caught by his trained ears.

"You can look up walkthroughs online if you want." 

Bane shot him an indigniant look. 

"That's _cheating._ " He finally said. "How could you think I would even consider such a thing?" 

Blake burst into a fit of laughter, which was cut off when Bane swatted him with a pillow. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bane may be a genius military leader, but I assume technology used solely for entertainment is confusing to him.


	2. Panties (Fifty Shades of Iridescent Green)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh whoops, John, Bane found your porn again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now for straight up smut with a plot.
> 
> This is Crack, straight up. I haven't done 98% Heisenberg Grade crack in a long time.

_That kinky bastard._

Blake ran his thumbs over the small green piece of silk in his hands, wondering absent-mindedly how the fabric would feel  when he eventually wore it.

_Panties._

Bane had gone out and bought him a pair of panties.

Silk iridescent green panties, to be specific.

He had left them laying out on Blake’s bed with a meticulously scrawled note stating he would be returning to see _“his Robin.”_ in them before he _“sat on his fat dick.”_

John had thought it was a joke until he saw the note; a little jab at what had transpired a couple weeks earlier...

* * *

“And _why_ do you think it’s okay to go through my mail?”

Bane sat at the kitchen table with a variety of papers and knick knacks in his hands, looking rather unperturbed.

“You received a package. I had to investigate-”

“Investigate what Bane? Were you looking for bombs? Anthrax? The package is from _Father Reilly_ , since when does a priest become the fucking Unabomber huh?” Blake hissed.

“Someone could have fabricated the return address.”

“But why would someone want to blow me up, Bane?”

“Because you’re the Nightwing. If Gordon and his wife could discover your identity so swiftly, it is safe to say others could start to make assumptions as well.”

Blake pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“Don’t say that.” he snapped.

Bane tilted his head to the side.

“What?” came his reply.

“It’s Nightwing, not _the_ Nightwing. Don’t be a pretentious asshole like everyone else on TV. How you feel if I kept calling you _the_ Bane?”

Bane sighed, his mask hissing as a result.

“Very well-- and I will not go through your mail again if it upsets you.”

“It’s a federal offence.” Blake replied, his body relaxing a little, even though he was still annoyed that he still had to reiterate to Bane not to break any laws, Bruce was breathing down his neck via the occasional text message or email and Blake knew the man was just itching to suit up and try to kick Bane’s ass again if the moment arose despite their _"agreement."_

Bane nodded as he continued to rifle through the papers.

“Mr. Reilly said in his attached letter that these belonged to you, he found them in the attic while doing some... _Spring Cleaning._ ”

Blake looked down at some of the things. Most was old school stuff like notebooks and a stolen textbook (because fuck the system) along with some old toys and objects he had collected in his years at the Boy’s Home. After he had aged out he wasn’t allowed to take much with him, just the clothes on his back and a few other essentials, so he was glad to have some of these things finally returned to him.

Bane was going through his old Algebra One notebook, cocking an eyebrow at his erratic doodles and obvious lack of effort. When he suddenly paused, the skin on his cheeks and neck flushing a shade of pink.

 _“Batman and Robin.”_  He snarled.

Blake could see the shade of metaphorical green creeping into Bane’s steely irises as he leaned over to see why the hell he would utter such words.

_Oh no._

_Oh fuck no._

Blake had been fourteen and horny, recently accepting of his homosexuality. And of course his horny fourteen-year-old self had a hardon for Batman. (thankfully, Blake didn’t know he was Bruce Wayne just yet).

Scrawled all over the pages were  shitty doodles and short-stories  of himself (Robin, the Boy Wonder) and Batman fighting crime and well...

Bane wasn’t turning those colors for nothing. 

Blake had used a four color ballpoint pen for the illustrations, which mean he had only red, black, blue, and green to work with. While Batman was drawn in all Black, in order to save ink, Robin’s “costume” was red and green (Blake didn't like the red but the blue was too similar to the black to show any contrast). He had felt pretty kinky that day (however, is fourteen-year-old self didn’t even know what kinky meant at the time)  and had designed his “costume” to something akin to Peter Pan meets dive-bar stripper, complete with fairy shoes, bare legs, and green panties.

Blake lunged for the notebook but Bane evaded him with catlike reflexes. He leapt up from his chair with the incriminating writing still clutched in his hands.

“You _will_ explain this.” Bane hissed.

“I was fourteen.”

“You lusted after Bruce Wayne! You wanted _to... sit...on... his... fat... dick.”_ He read aloud, his face growing a little more flushed.

Bane’s eyes flickered back to Blake, he looked a mixture of disgusted and confused, with a hint of injury in his eyes.

“ _Fourteen!_ I didn’t know Bruce was Batman I just--I just wanted Batman!”

_“Why?”_

Did Blake just hurt Bane’s feelings over this?

“I don’t know... I just thought he was hot. I was a kid, Bane, I didn’t know any better.”

Blake heard a muffled gagging sound coming from the mask. Oh god, was Bane gonna puke into it?

“This is-- this is _revolting.”_

Blake scoffed.

“We’ve done worse shit than that.”

“You’re an underage boy and he’s-”

“Bruce Wayne, I get it, _no te gusta_. I didn’t know at the time, and after I did I kind of... _well...”_

Blake shrugged. He wasn’t sure how his infatuation with Bruce wore off, but over time it happened, even though he never stopped admiring the man.

Bane sighed through the mask, glancing down at the notebook.

“So, after you discovered Bruce Wayne was Batman you no longer wanted to... _choke on his Dark Knight until he spilled his hot seed down your throat?"_

 _“STOP READING IT!”_ Blake shrieked.

Bane frowned, then tossed the notebook back on the table.

It was at that moment Blake noticed the huge bulge in Bane’s pants.

“You’re getting of on it aren’t you?” Blake said, nodding at Bane’s arousal with a hint of smugness.

Bane snarled again then shoved past him, he heard the bedroom window open and shut as Bane vanished into night.

* * *

 

Bane had apologised later, but there was no make-up sex to speak of. In fact, when Blake tried it initiate it Bane brushed him off muttering something about his back hurting, wanting to finish his current novel, or he had to do pushups, _whatever_ . He was sure Bane was embarrassed, or rather disgusted with himself over the fact he’s gotten a boner over shitty smut-fiction.  

Now, after after two weeks Bane seemed to have come to terms with his new fetish as Blake held the panties in his hands. He wondered where on earth Bane had scrounged these up; probably at some seedy Sex Store like the one down by the Monorail stop in between the Narrows and Downtown Island that Blake used to go by when he still lived in that shithole. 

He sighed through his nose, feeling his cock twitch in interest at the thought of wearing them. He was going through a dry spell, after all.

Blake stripped off his street clothes in the bathroom and slipped on the panties, glancing in the mirror just to see how well he filled them out, feeling a blush of nervousness and excitement as he saw how nicely the fabric clung to his ass, teasing the paled flesh underneath.

He stepped out into the bedroom again and lay sprawled out onto the bed on his stomach, trying to get a feel on this sensation of the soft silk brushing against his balls and semi-hard dick. Blake was confident that Bane would be showing up any second to fuck the shit out of him which made warm heat pool in his belly.

“I knew they would look lovely on you.” He heard a husky purr, unaltered by any mask.

Blake rolled onto his back in surprise, to see Bane leaning up against the far wall, maskless, his med-case set neatly in the corner. A smirk  was on his scarred face as he leered at him hungrily with his arms crossed. He looked so much like a wolf waiting for the kill and Blake’s cock was very interested.

He strolled up to the bed, that look still on his face. Blake swallowed a little as Bane crawled on top of him, his large hands roamed steadily over his torso.

“I have been thinking about this for weeks.” Bane growled as he leaned forward to gnaw at Blake’s neck. He gasped and arched at the stimulation as Bane’s hands slid down to his waist and then to cup his ass and raise up his hips as he ground into him.

“F-fuck... I didn’t know you were into shitty self-insert porn.”

Bane growled again as he moved up to claim Blake’s mouth with his own with several licks and bites as his mouth moved to nipping at his collarbone.   

“Not so much the pornography... just... _these_.”

Bane’s hand slid down and over Blake’s ass, stroking the smooth silk there before it moved up to palm his cock through the fabric. John moaned at the sensation as his arousal bulged around the constricting fabric.

Bane’s mouth wandered lower and lower as he continued to lick and bite at Blake’s flesh. But suddenly, he moved up and pulled Blake into a sitting position as he fumbled with his shirt and the zipper of his pants. Blake fell against him with a moan, crawling into his lap, making sure to sway his hips as seductively as possible like some fucking rent-boy.

Bane got his pants halfway off and grabbed the back of Blake’s head to push him down, he got the idea as he licked and teased at Bane’s throbbing dick before slowly taking more and more in.

Bane was so large but he managed anyway to fit as much as he could as his head started to bob up and down as his tongue teased the sensitive flesh. He could taste Bane’s musk and precome and heart the man’s satisfied grunts as he gripped Blake’s hair, forcing him to go faster.

John gagged a little at being used this way, but he kind of liked it. He moaned while he continued to give Bane head, one of his free hands stroking what simply would not fit for further stimulation.

Finally, Bane pulled him off, John released him with a sickenly wet pop and a gasp for air, salva and precome dribbling down his chin.

He became very aware on how achingly hard he was in his panties.

Bane grabbed him and flipped him onto his stomach. Blake responded by lifting his hips to fully display himself for his partner. His cock was begging for attention but when he moved to touch himself in this awkward position Bane knocked his hands away with a growl. Blake swore under his breath when he felt Bane fondling his silk-clad ass, occasionally his fingers would slip beneath the fabric to touch the soft skin there, which made Blake gasp. Finally, he began rubbing Blake’s balls and cock through the fabric which make him moan in relief.

He heard the sound of a cap opening and became shockingly aware of one of Bane’s hands sliding up to tease his hole. He gasped again when he felt one of Bane’s slick fingers gently move around the entrance before easing inside to coax it open.

“Fuck!” Blake moaned as Bane prepared him, his body quickly relaxing and adjusting to allow more fingers. Whenever Bane would hit his prostate he would jolt and moan, his cock leaking out and darkening the fabric.

Finally, He felt Bane pull the silk aside and nudge up to push himself in.

He was going to fuck him with the panties still on.

_Oh god._

He heard the warning snaps of ripping fabric but he didn’t care as Bane entered him with a low growl. His own mouth hung open with a moan as Bane sunk in to the hilt, his hips rocking slowly as low grunts left him.

Bane grabbed a fistful of Blake’s hair in one hand and braced the other on the small of his back as his thrusts slowly gained momentum. Bane growled as he continued to snap his hips a bit harder and shoved a bit deeper, his cock brushing past John’s sweet spot every time.

Blake gasped and moaned, his body trembling from the sensation while his neglected cock remained painfully confined in silk.

Then, Bane stopped, pulling out and making Blake swear angrily.

Bane rolled onto his back and pulled Blake onto him, leaving a few bites and kisses on his mouth. John understood what he wanted and straddled Bane, gripping his partner’s cock and guiding it back in they way Bane had before. He winced when he felt the fabric tear a little more but his mouth hung open in a low moan when he felt Bane stretching his ass again.  He braced his hands on Bane’s stomach as he slowly began to ride Bane’s cock, easing himself into it before letting himself go. Bane gripped his hips and helped him along, lifting him up and bringing him back down while his hips bucked up to meet him. Blake felt himself growing close until finally, Bane reached up and pulled down the panties, running his hand over Blake’s cock.

That was all he needed, Blake came with a shout, his body shuddering with Bane coming shortly after, he fell forward with a wet slap onto Bane’s torso, gasping for breath.

“Jesus Christ.” was all he could say.

Bane rumbled as his hands slid up to caress his skin and ruffle his hair as they lay in silence. few minutes later Bane rolled onto his side, his grey eyes alight with interest as he stretched out nose to nose with John.

“I wonder what you would look like in red.” Bane murmured softly.

Blake opened his mouth to protest, since he did not like red, but to be honest he kind of wondered too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Crack!fic in a Crack!fic! *whispers* Crack!ception 
> 
> *Inception horns*


End file.
